Well after my more serious article about the Black Death I thought a bit more humour today, after all today even more restrictions! As Monty Python said, ‘always look on the bright side of life’ a bit hard when we need to do even less now and it’s raining out.
Staying at home is the only solution. All non essential work is forbidden, normal offices etc all must home work or not work, more restrictions on supermarkets etc. Our movement is severely restricted, we are only allowed to do any sport within 200metres of your house… that could be difficult for doggers, maybe just turn the car lights on and off again in your garage (if you don’t know what dogging is don’t ask anyone and definately not your teenage kids!).
Ok so it is a bit boring staying in but hey! We have Netflix, BritBox (recommended) Prime video, babble, Duolingo, panda pow and another IP hiders to get on uk T.V (yes I am a bit of a geek), audible, kindle, facebook, messenger, WhatsApp. It’s not like we are in the bloody Middle Ages with ye olde newspaper and not being literate and your fingers falling off with the plague so you even cant hold the blooming newspaper! For those of you who have always wanted to learn another language, here is the opportunity!!!! I am starting to do English lessons on skype for my friend Alma who wants to learn English, find a friend who speaks the language you want and chat to them… lets use this time to do something constructive… rediscover old friendships, i reckon everyone could do with some moral support now. I mean, we are in the middle of this but other countries are crapping themselves because they are entering this now….. and its scary.
If you fancy painting do it! Anything you want to learn new there is YouTube. You name it it’s on there, including some seriously weird stuff, word of warning… do not ever look up ‘Bridget the Midget’ as one of my guests did (it was a song i think). Do something you have always thought you should do: read War and peace, that should see you through the worst of the lockdown, I’ve read it, its good but it is soooooo long!, people are whinging that the new Hilary Mantel novel is long, try war and peace for a door stopper! Lightweights!
Yoga is another good thing, there are loads of on line courses and help, it will keep you supple, keep you calm and entertain your cat… I’m sure when i do yoga my cat Gingy is thinking, all that stretching and she still cant lick her bum! I can (says Gingy, not me)
Maybe don’t read newspapers, especially before going to bed… they are full of doom and gloom (quite normal really) and they will give you nightmares. Before whinging just remember, our grandparents were sent off to wars to probably be cannon fodder, all the majority of us are being asked is to stay in the warm with all our creature comforts, ok maybe you want to go and do some shopping, some retail therapy, do it on line, it probably wont arrive till after all this is over. (But my new top is essential, i cant sit on my balcony without it etc etc) but the wait will do you good, we just are not used to it anymore! We are so used to immediate gratification, a bit of old style waiting is good for you…. Talking about immediate gratification in italy Pornhub has given their clients free use of the site, maybe thats why men are running to bulk buy toilet roll in the uk, anticipating the same deal maybe?? I wish TIM would do the same, not porn but free use of the telephone lines.
We are lucky, i have a cantina full of wine, obviously preparing for the opening here, we (having nothing else to do last night) estimated that if we drank a bottle every 2 days we could stay here for about 2 years….. nice to see priorities. In the uk press (obviously a totally unbiased and 100% honest source) they now say that Alcohol is the ‘new toilet paper’ (not to be used like toilet paper but the main commodity that people are panic buying.) its funny, so far here in italy we havent really had that panic buying spree, the uk papers (fountains of truth like all newspapers) showed photos of people in italy panic buying but to me it looked like a normal ‘big shop’ – English people who are fans of Peter Kay will understand this last bit. The trolleys were full of normal stuff, not toilet paper. I saw in the papers they were showing other stuff you could use instead of toilet paper… not good, maybe use those ‘newspapers’ instead of reading them… Personally I would be stuffed without toothpaste, to clean my teeth obviously. What would be your worst nightmare to find had run out?
One good thing about this is that it has given bloggers and meme creators something to write/create memes about. I have seen some very funny ones, some not so funny! It’s good to see that people have retained their sense of humour, i hope this has cheered you all up a little bit! As monty python sang in the Life of Brian…. ‘always look on the bright side of life, na-na, na-na, na-na-na-na’
Take care!!!
Villa Tres jolie 